Chavez True or False

Can you guess which of the following statements were made by Hugo Chavez?

A. The U.S. has bombarded entire cities, used chemical weapons and napalm, killed women, children and thousands of soldiers. That's terrorism.

B. Capitalism will lead to the destruction of humanity ... (and America) is the devil that represents capitalism.

C. The imperialist, genocidal, fascist attitude of the U.S. president has no limits. I think Hitler would be like a suckling baby next to George W. Bush.

D. They are threatening any country that decides to be free.

E. America is the only country that went from barbarism to decadence without civilization in between.

Fighting off Pirates

If you're a merchant sailor off the Horn of Africa it seems like you can't avoid pirates. The rest of us can't avoid reading about them. Today I saw some suggestions for how sailors might deal with these guys. The methods range from sci fi to cartoons. Here's an annotated rundown:

Fire Hoses and Water Cannons
The idea is to nail the pirates while they're in their boat, but as the article so adroitly points out, water, even high pressure water, is no match for a bullet.

Molotov Cocktails
My personal favorite. Seems to dispel a notion ingrained into anyone who has watched a movie about sailing: a sailor's biggest fear is fire aboard ship. It would make sense to lob flaming bottles of gas and whatnot onto the pirate ship, but a Chinese crew engaged pirates in this manner on deck! They were being shadowed by pirates (imagine that!) long enough to prepare enough empty beer bottles with gas to tie pirates up on deck for six hours! Long enough for the Malaysian Navy to send in the big guns.

Noisemakers
Aka "sonic weapons." The idea is, burst the eardrums of these bastards as they pull alongside.

Bright Lights
Kind of like the noisemakers, but aiming for the eyes. Temporarily blind the suckers with a flash from a high-powered light source.

Slippery Foam
This one seems the flimsiest to me, like someone has been watching too many Three Stooges shorts. One of the premises this seemes to rest on: the pirates are barefoot. I don't know about you, but I do not want to be hosing the deck down with slippery shite while these guys are coming aboard with guns!

There were some others, including ringing the hull with electric fencing or even plain old barbed wire, and throwing nets in the path of the pirate craft in the hopes that they will entangle their propellers (seriously). Firearms don't seem to be a realistic option, unless the sailors are explicitly trained in their use.

So, if you were out there, off the coast of Somalia, what would you want in your anti-pirate arsenal? Take the poll or, better yet, take the poll and leave some comments.

Mangling the Anthem

A man's reach should exceed his grasp, yes, but Carl Lewis took it (or tries to) to ridiculous lengths back at the Brendan Byrne Center in 1993 (Nets v. Bulls).



I just wish it was the entire thing.

Here's another hack job:



Spitting at the end was a priceless touch.

A Little Poetry That You Like

The Emperor of Ice Cream

Call the roller of big cigars,
The muscular one, and bid him whip
In kitchen cups concupiscent curds.
Let the wenches dawdle in such dress
As they are used to wear, and let the boys
Bring flowers in last month's newspapers.
Let be be finale of seem.
The only emperor is the emperor of ice-cream.

Take from the dresser of deal,
Lacking the three glass knobs, that sheet
On which she embroidered fantails once
And spread it so as to cover her face.
If her horny feet protrude, they come
To show how cold she is, and dumb.
Let the lamp affix its beam.
The only emperor is the emperor of ice-cream.

Wallace Stevens.

What have you got?

Food You Can't Make at Home

Sushi's the obvious call here, but the one dish I'm going to highlight is pad thai.



What's not to like about pad thai, right? I bet I eat a plate of it every other week. Once I tried making it at home, spent a good chunk of change at an Asian grocery, and a fair chunk of time trying to get the dish to taste like what I was used to at the Thai restaurant. Couldn't do it. I'm a decent cook but I don't think it's in me to make good pad thai at home.

What else fits this category?

Covers That Beat the Original

I Can't Explain is a terrific song. Lately I dig David Bowie's version even more than The Who's original. First Bowie:


Then The Who:



Am I right? Are there others?

Great Finds from Trader Joe's

I've been eating the Quick Cook Steel Cut Oats from Trader Joe's lately and I have to say, they're fantastic. You may have tried steel cut oats before (McCann's, for instance) and given up on them because they take a heck of a long time to make. Like half an hour. McCann's require lots of attention, too, because boil overs are inevitable if you turn your back on the pot.

Not so with TJ's Quick Cook kind. They're ready to eat in eight minutes, and that includes a minute of sitting. They're chewy, nutty, the texture way ahead of Quaker. I eat mine with raisins and banana slices, and 2% milk.

Get over to your local Trader Joe's and try some of these (oh, and they're super cheap, too, under $3.00 for a container).

I hear their burritos are really good, and that their frozen pizzas are even worth a try.